Note: Unfortunately, I am without internet access this week so some of my posting may be sporadic.
I wanted to share with you today a guest post from Marie Yates, the author of Reggie and Me, a book about a young adult trying to overcome her label of 'victim' after being sexually abused. If this guest post interests you, please check back tomorrow for my review of Reggie and Me.
I wanted to share with you today a guest post from Marie Yates, the author of Reggie and Me, a book about a young adult trying to overcome her label of 'victim' after being sexually abused. If this guest post interests you, please check back tomorrow for my review of Reggie and Me.
Choose
your definition by Marie Yates
Working with young, and not-so-young,
people who have experienced the worst that life has to throw at them continues
to take me on a fascinating journey. Learning from people who have quite
literally turned their lives around is a privilege and has led me to question
why some people choose to forge ahead while others do not.
I use the word ‘choose’ carefully and with
trepidation as I am forever being told that ‘it’s not that simple’. What if it
is that simple? What if we make it that simple?
I began this journey with Dani, the main
character in Reggie & Me, as a way of encouraging young people to choose
their own path in life. The core message is that each and every one of us has
the power to define ourselves. We do not have to accept labels or carry the
actions of other people with us.
Life involves a steady stream of influences
and more often than not, we choose the influences that resonate with us.
Whether that involves the music we listen to, the food we eat or the clothes we
wear; we choose what ‘fits’. The influences then extend to positive and
negative experiences. We all have both of these on a daily basis, depending on
what we choose to focus on. Sometimes, unthinkable things happen. Dani shows us
that we still have the choice about how we define ourselves.
Dani chooses to concentrate on making sure
she succeeds at school and in her newfound love of sport so that she has choices
about her future. This is no mean feat as her final year at secondary school is
challenging to say the least. Unfortunately, she faces the same challenges as
an increasing number of young people. That is why this story matters.
There are two ways in which I hope that
this story will resonate with readers. Firstly, if the reader is experiencing
their own challenges, whether they mirror Dani’s or not, there are strategies
they can learn in order to thrive in the face of adversity. Secondly, for
readers who are supporting someone through a challenging time, there are tips
about the significance of the messages that they are giving.
For readers in the midst of their own
challenges, there is a message of hope. The story is told through Dani’s diary
as she navigates her way through starting a new school in year eleven. Her
rollercoaster year mirrors the experiences of many young people who find
themselves being isolated, bullied and with a desperate search for meaning in
the midst of chaos. The story begins as Dani has seen her rapist jailed; moving
away is supposed to be a new and exciting start for her and her Mum. Life
doesn’t always work out the way we had planned though, does it?
It takes every ounce of strength that Dani
has to keep going and to make the best of her new situation. It is not easy to
take these steps every day; I don’t know anyone who would say that it is easy.
I do know that it takes just as much effort to remain in a dark place. Anyone
who is reading the book already has a 100 per cent success rate of getting
through each day. Dani not only shows them that they can take the necessary
steps to make each day better; she shows them how.
For readers who are supporting someone
through a challenging time, the story acts as guidance about ways to approach
positively supporting that person and planting seeds that will help them to move
forward. One of the reasons that I began exploring a story of this nature was
because I wanted to positively tackle one of my biggest annoyances in life.
‘Your life is over’, ‘you have a lifelong journey of recovery’, ‘my life is
ruined’… these are common messages that survivors are faced with or that they
find themselves saying. Life is not over; it does not have to be a lifelong
journey of recovery and it is not ruined. Life still has the potential to be as
incredible as the person wants it to be. These messages need to be challenged.
On any given day, there is always something to be thankful for. That is a
starting point. For Dani, she had support and she found solace in her dog,
Reggie. As she took more control over her life, she found other ways to make
sure that she made the most of every day and created her own opportunities.
That’s not to say that there aren’t bad
days; of course there are. Who doesn’t have bad days? Dani shares how she copes
on these days and how she then restarts with the things that she knows help her
to feel better. That is essentially the secret to success. It’s about facing
the setbacks, no matter how large or how small, finding a way through them and
refocusing.
Dani’s story offers hope. She works hard to
ensure that the choices she makes lead her down a positive path and she is a
role model to other young people who are facing their own challenges in life.
After all, we’re all surviving something.
Marie Yates is an author and coach who
works with survivors of rape and sexual abuse. She also imparts her positive,
inspiring survivor's message with genuine warmth and passion to a variety of
audiences. She lives in Birmingham, UK. You can find her online at: http://indigo-turtle.co.uk
Reggie and Me is the first book in the Dani Moore Trilogy. Dani's story is told through her diary in the wake of her rape and subsequent court case. Having moved with her mum, Dani starts year eleven at a new school, facing various challenges that bring a renewed energy to face whatever is thrown at her and carry on regardless. She realises that ‘normality’ is something that she can define herself, with the help of her dog Reggie and the people around her. Reggie and Me is more than a story of survival, as the reader is taken on an inspiring journey of personal development, interweaved with tools that girls and young women can use to create the positive future they deserve.
Reggie & Me is published by Lodestone
Books October 31st 2014. ISBN:
978-1-78279-723-4 (Paperback) £6.99 $11.95, EISBN: 978-1-78279-722-7 (eBook)
£3.99 $6.99.
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Sounds like a great survivor story. Something I think it is important to tell. Loved the post!
Hope you get your internet back soon!